Homestead Couples - How to Make it Work
A Perfect Example: Years ago, we bought land from a wonderful 84 year old lady that was living alone on a far off the grid homestead. Her husband had passed a few years earlier.
They had lived there together for 30+ years, and built a beautiful cabin from logs grown on those same acres. It was rustic - no running water, a wood stove for cooking, an outhouse, and a little tool shop.
Nestled in a cold winter zone, they were often snowed in together for months.
We were telling her story to our friend Tina a while back. And her immediate response was: " They must have really loved each other."
They did. And they a great life on that ranch: Picture a cabin on a little lake and a few horses for company. Add in the sounds of wildlife, complimenting the serenity of the peace and quiet, on a gorgeous landscape. That was their life, day after day, for thirty plus years.
If you are among the countless people starting - or looking for - a life like that, well, we know there are many! But theirs in one story illustrating that yes, absolutely, it can be done.
It definitely means finding the right partner first, based on wanting the same life - shared visions and values. If you are still looking, for 10 dollars a month we have a search by values matchup service here. And still, once you have the right partner, you want to have a plan to keep the relationship strong.
HOW to make it work as a couple.
Even the closest couples can sometimes really get on each other's nerves. Homesteading / off-grid living can include grating moments like any other lifestyle. How do couples deal with that kind of stress way out there?
Have a peace plan.
- This is where your understanding and agreement on a shared vision come in to play. Keeping the big-picture perspective in mind means not sweating the small stuff quite as much.
- Have a plan in advance for communicating openly. Each needs to know they are seen and heard. Ideally, there might be a habit of continuous open communication. If not, it that needs to be planned, and have a structure. And that is not too hard:
For some, that might be a scheduled weekly time set aside to talk about the big picture;
- Do we have the essentials covered?
- Is there anything either of you is having significant problems with?
- What do we need to focus on getting done now? And within months?
- What are we working towards for next year? And in three years?
In there are reminders about what you are working towards together. Knowing you are staying in sync about the big picture will help keep you closer. And when those smaller irritations happen they will be less significant.
Still, there will be conflict and tensions sometimes. So talk that over in advance too. Have an agreement and a plan for those moments.
- You might decide a little personal space or personal time is the most important need in those moments.
- You might have a previously agreed-to signal: A time-out sign, or pause signal, whatever you come up with, to help reduce tensions.
Of course, there are many subjects that we could drift into from here. But we aren't professional relationship advisors, or pretending to be experts. We do have our experiences to think back on.
With this page we just wanted to point out that tensions will come up. Thinking that over in advance - talking it over together, and planning a way through is strong preparation.
Have a previously discussed method for dealing with those moments - and they might be handled more gently, and hopefully more quickly.
Leaving all the more time to enjoy that life you are building.
- Note: Like most of our pages here, members are welcome to offer helpful comments to add to the above. Send to: kellyann@offgridcentral.org